Have you ever stopped and realized that something around your house is suddenly a disaster? You used to have a very orderly system that keeps you moving along quickly and all of the sudden you can't find what you need, you find yourself tripping over things and feeling irritated every time you are in that area. You think to yourself "What happened? How did I become so disorganized?" I am here to tell you it may not be you! You may just be in transition. Parenting children from 1-18 years old has shown me the need to continually manage the transition times of life if I am going to keep everything running smoothly in the long run.
Recently I discovered my long standing chore system was no longer working! The dishes and daily chores of each family member seemed to get left for cross country meets, college art projects and late night study sessions. Meanwhile, I was tending to a toddler all day and in need of more help than ever.
When I thought back on how my hubby and I kept things running when our oldest was a baby(18 years ago). I realized I am not totally inept I was simply in transition (AGAIN).
1. When you find something is not working for you it's time to take stock.
- What exactly is the problem area?
- What is preventing you and your family from keeping up?
- Don't blame shift here: the kids may be creating the mess but it is your job to train them!
- Write down a few ideas you want to try to help fix the problem.
2. Now talk to the family.
Choose a time that is not charged with emotions and irritation. Let everyone know ahead of time what to expect at this meeting so they can come prepared with ideas too. I sat down with the kids and hubs and explained my utter inability to do much after 8pm and my extreme need for everyone to keep after their own messes.
Choose a time that is not charged with emotions and irritation. Let everyone know ahead of time what to expect at this meeting so they can come prepared with ideas too. I sat down with the kids and hubs and explained my utter inability to do much after 8pm and my extreme need for everyone to keep after their own messes.
3. Ask don't lecture!
This is especially important if you are talking with tweens and teens and your hubby. I asked why they had abandoned our chore routine and what was making it difficult for them to keep. Asking instead of accusing keeps them from feeling attacked and is much more helpful then yelling at them and telling them they just needed to "obey or the highway!"
This is especially important if you are talking with tweens and teens and your hubby. I asked why they had abandoned our chore routine and what was making it difficult for them to keep. Asking instead of accusing keeps them from feeling attacked and is much more helpful then yelling at them and telling them they just needed to "obey or the highway!"
4. Come up with a solution everyone is willing to help with.
Tell them your ideas to try and ask them if they have any ideas that may work.
Tell them your ideas to try and ask them if they have any ideas that may work.
Together we came up with a new system that left all of us happy and unified in our home keeping. It took into account everyone's strengths and weaknesses but the ultimate answer for our family could not be "We're too busy mom, you do it!" My oldest three children have learned to do chores properly, now they needed to learn how to take what they had learned and make it work in a time of transition.
Now instead of each child doing all the dishes for a whole week (missing multiple days a week for various activities or homework) everyone who is home for dinner gets up immediately and cleans the kitchen together, even Mom!
I take charge and assign tasks and keep the bickering at bay. Dad takes charge of baby's bath and when the kitchen is clean we all move to the other parts of the house and "reset" each room for the next day. This carries the jovial dinner conversation on a bit longer and makes the chore seem lighter. We get done in half the time and (usually) love each other more when its over.
How have you needed to change your system of organization to keep up in a time of transition?
I take charge and assign tasks and keep the bickering at bay. Dad takes charge of baby's bath and when the kitchen is clean we all move to the other parts of the house and "reset" each room for the next day. This carries the jovial dinner conversation on a bit longer and makes the chore seem lighter. We get done in half the time and (usually) love each other more when its over.
How have you needed to change your system of organization to keep up in a time of transition?
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